Saturday, December 30, 2006

happy new year

... the Holidays are near their end and nostalgia is beginning it's approach. The messy mind game where memories of the past are stacked next to each other in an effort to prove (either consciously or unconsciously) progress has been made. Progress in life... the maturing of oneself. It sounds as if I am I referring to it as an ailment... in my case... I am. It has a way of driving me to melancholy. I'm usually counting the minutes until all the decorations are down and life returns to 'normal'. Don't get me wrong... I do love the Holiday Season... but by this time I'm ready... ready for the grind... ready to be so busy that I forget I'm thousands of miles away from family... have not found the women of my dreams & am not exactly where I want to be with my career. You know... all those memories and feelings that start building around the end of November and usually linger through the first week of January. Here's to the end of another season... may the next find us further along in the pursuit for our truth.

happy new year

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

a bit delayed

...I was away with the fam & couldn't post on the computer that was available... I'M BACK!!

the tour has come to an end and the holidays burn into full steam. I'm writing from 30K feet... small cramped quarters where strangers sleep closer than lovers... mouths gaping... elbows invading... invading what little space is bought and paid for with a hefty exchange... both in time and hard earned cash.

I'm beginning the first of ten sun-filled days in San Diego... my experience once a year where past & present collide in a frenzy of insecurity and maturity gained. We (my siblings & Mother) tiptoe around my Father who tends to bring a large bag of coal with him each and every year. It has become somewhat of a tradition... if complete lack of communication can be a tradition. He feels the need to impart religious wisdom to three completely individual thinkers... who, because of his failure to communicate outside the realm of "faith", have and are having an interesting time coming to terms with their own spiritual journey.

12/21/06: Something happened last night that brought my childhood rushing back with a furry. I was raised the son of a preacher man... strict and stern... told the path was straight and never allowed to think otherwise. We were raised without movies, dancing, "secular music" or anything else that would lead to the demise of our faith.

I can remember the rare occasion when a movie was rented... which was a painstaking event all on it's own. 99% of the time not worth the torture endured to get from the opening sequence to the credits. The routine would go as follows: We would go to the video store and spend FOREVER picking out a lame, PG rated, waste of film... only to get home and make it about 32 minutes... that's when shit would hit the fan in large amounts. It would start with either a very MINOR sexually suggestive scene (which usually meant women where in bathing suites, in the water but the strap of their bikini tops were visible... straight up porn) or the words "damn" / "hell" had been uttered. What followed directly after is what, still to this day completely baffles me... and again happened last night. At the moment either of those two events occurred my Father would promptly turn to us, as if we had wrote the script. Every single time!! We were somehow responsible for the moral degradation that had just flashed before our eyes... a lengthy scolding concerning the ways of the world usually followed. This is but a glimpse of Christmas past & present... some things will NEVER change. This weekend should be interesting... my brother & his family arrive. GOD BLESS US EVERYONE!

Friday, December 15, 2006

hu's on first?




so ... this may come across as "bush bashing part deux"... but it's not. He's a good man & all that shit... I just think he's made some serious miscalculations.
for those of you who are in a holy uproar over my previous post here are some carefully chosen words: chill the f*ck out.
life is too short not to be honest... whether it be pretty or ugly, happy or sad. Step back and HONESTLY look at the situation... if you STILL feel I'm misguided or going to hell in a hand basket... wow... you need to get laid.

enjoy

Thursday, December 14, 2006

top 10 albums of 2006

10. smoking city - david condos
9. under the iron sea - keane
8. guerolito - beck
7. long island stories - mindy smith
6. loose - nelly furtado (what can I say... I love timbaland)
5. futuresexlovesounds - JT (shut it... the production is sick)
4. blue on blue - leigh nash
3. sometimes - city & colour
2. how to save a life - the fray
1. tourniqet - magnet

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

a safer America

questions of the day: Why do partisan believers in the U.S. think the electing of a "Christian" candidate makes said person the end all, be all?
I find it disturbing that we allow the actions of a man to go unquestioned for the simple reason that he believes in the same God we do... waves from the front step of his Sunday morning service... and holds a certain "moral fiber" that we ascribe to.

... at the same time he continues to push a war that has no end and clearly no longer involves our "cause" for " a safer America".

Did we settle for the lesser of two evils or are we now simply condoning the actions of a man who clearly does not know when to stop.

top 10 songs of 2006

10. black swan - thom yorke
9. out loud - mindy smith
8. trust me - the fray
7. ice age - pete yorn
6. right where it belongs - david condos
5. along the wall - leigh nash
4. 9 crimes - damien rice
3. say it right - nelly furtado
2. hold on - magnet
1. save your scissors - city & colour

Sunday, December 10, 2006

compassion fatigue




... I came across this article in June and felt it was an important share... since when does the loss of human life grant a simple mention on the evening news and a forgotten change of the remote? These stats are obviously much larger in their current state and we still have no end in sight. What was started as a noble act of humane patriotism has now landed us in an endless sea of "one more lost". May we NEVER forget the sacrifice of these... compassion fatigues.


A Grim Toll

By David Fickling

We are so used to the compassion fatigue engendered by three years of Iraqi bloodshed that even yesterday's announcement that 100 Iraqis a day are dying (pdf) invites a ho-hum response. Most news organisations subsumed the news into more dramatic accounts of a suicide car bomb attack that killed 53 in southern Iraq.

The editorial decision is understandable: we already know that Iraq is unspeakably bloody, and eyewitness accounts of suicide bombers driving into queues of labourers make for more dramatic news stories than the search through morgue and hospital records that produced the UN human rights office's 100-a-day figure.

But let's try putting it into context. More people are killed in a month in Iraq than in 30 years of conflict in Northern Ireland. In two months, more are killed than in the first world war's Battle of Jutland, the biggest naval battle of all time.

More are killed in 10 weeks than were killed in the Halabja poison gas attack, Saddam Hussein's single most brutal assault on his people. And in 12 weeks, more are killed than died in the Srebrenica massacre.

Think of it another way: a packed-out concert at the Wembley Arena holds 12,300, so it you've ever been to the venue you can tell yourself that it would take just five-and-a-half months of violence in Iraq to kill every person who was there with you.

Or you could try setting yourself an alarm to go off every 15 minutes, day and night, giving you a reminder of the average frequency of violent death in post-conflict Iraq.

All of this rarely makes headline news around the world because, although the violence in Iraq is constant and relentless, there are few major incidents to attract our attention.

There have so far only been five days since the fall of Baghdad when major coordinated attacks caused the deaths of more than 100 people in a day - in Irbil in February 2004, in Karbala and Baghdad the following month, in Hilla in February 2005, in Baghdad and other towns in September 2005, and in Karbala and Ramadi this January.

There will inevitably be further examination of the UN's figures. Iraq Body Count estimates a total of 44,000 deaths, while a 2004 Lancet study (pdf) calculated that there had been 98,000 "excess deaths" since the Iraq invasion.

What is without question is that the toll is rising. According to Iraq Body Count, the daily death toll has gone up from 20 in 2003, to 30 in 2004, 40 in 2005 and 50 this year. And according to the UN report, nearly a third of the 50,000 people killed since 2003 have died in the past six months alone.

http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/news/archives/2006/07/19/a_grim_toll.html

Friday, December 8, 2006

holding on to "it"...

... starbucks... a caramel apple cider and the blistering cold of Merrilville, IN. We left again last night for a four show run... returning to Nashville on the 12th for two days of home. There are eight left and the ending couldn't come any sooner. It hasn't been a rough tour... just a little road weary.
It will be different when the boys & I start tearing up the tread... playing our pictures for the world... I'm holding on to that.
... with each passing day it becomes a little harder to believe that "it's" right around the corner... years of holding on have worn me down... but I'm still here... As corny as it may read... if we don't have something to hold on to... what is this life?

listening to mindy smith's new record "long island stories"... a mellow acoustic/folky/melancholy record for the cold of the season. key tracks: "out loud" & "out of control"

Wednesday, December 6, 2006

new music... wednesday???

from now on, any time you see the post "new sh*t tuesday" you will know... a completely unqualified, somewhat biased opinion of current or not so current music is about to unfold.
so I'm a day late... shoot me.

INCUBUS -"light grenades"
now let me start by saying... I have NEVER been a fan of Incubus... but there are several songs on their new release "light grenades" that deserve an audience. Key tracks: "dig", "earth to bell pt. 1 & 2", "love hurts" & "oil & water"

MAGNET - "the tourniquet"
most of you have heard this Swedish wunderkinds music in a movie or two... he landed in the states with the sleepy hit "where happiness lives" in 2002. His new recording "the tourniquet" brims with more of the same... breezy, acoustic folk... with textures of electronica and rock. I HIGHLY recommend downloading, if nothing else, the track "hold on".

Monday, December 4, 2006

grounded... for but a moment

The day was gone before it started... spent with the catch-ups of a week abroad. I did the norms... paid the bills, took care of some band business and grabbed an hour in front of the picture box. Some of the band met for several hours to write for our new record... an event that until the last twenty minutes was an underwhelming experience (for me at least). I was planning to write in more detail concerning that session but felt my constant obsession w/ the band needed a break.
So now I move onto a subject that may appear random to previous postings but is very relevant to my current surroundings. I am presently on the road working for an organization that I have the utmost respect for; with a musician I grew up listening to and in very fragmented conversations have come to respect.
Now for those not familiar with the "road experience" I will explain some important sidebars that will make my rambling a little more cohesive.
First, you're usually placed on a bus (according to your position on the tour) with 8 to 12 strangers for a period of 4 to 6 weeks (longer or shorter depending the tour). The buses are split up between "artist/band" and the "crew"... which can make for a long run depending on the personalities that share your "home away from home". These runs (as they're called) are usually set up on a 4 on 3 off scenario. This means the tour has a show 4 nights of the week and you're traveling or home the other 3.
Now living on a bus has its perks as well as its hardships... I personally love life on the bus. All the comforts of home... satellite TV, internet, your own bunk, 2 lounges, a kitchen (fully stocked, if the you're on a good tour), a bathroom and several other amenities. The "hardships" depend more on your bunkmates than the condition of the bus (unless you are on a NS crew bus... but that's a whole other story).
that said... I am more interested in discussing the "small dick syndrome" or presence of "territorial pissing" (that comes with most tours) as apposed to painting for you a "Martha Stewart" picture of the interiors of a bus.
Each tour usually contains one or more persons who insist on asserting their "power" or "position" by means of (what I like to call) "asshole-itis". This "itis" allows them to answer any question with a "you should already know the answer" response... talk to you in a demeaning tone or simply make your experience on said tour less enjoyable. These people should not be hated nor bashed... they should be pitied. From my experience this type of attitude suggests insecurities that are much deeper than the current situation they are in. (I am no expert... just a quiet observer for several years).
I've been lucky to not come in contact with much of this disease... I have however been the "ear" to many disgruntled mates who continue to encounter these pathetic people. Final thought: Is life really that bad? We (they) allow ourselves to trivialize life when in fact... if you have the opportunity to "tour" for a living, you are truly blessed. no 9 to 5, free meals, comfortable surrounding (in most cases), better pay (in comparison to the workload of other jobs) and the chance to see/experience the country. Sure there are hardships (time away from family) and the sense of really not having any privacy... but come on... is life really that bad. Let's ask a child from a third world country... I'm sure the rigors of the road would be a welcome escape.

Sunday, December 3, 2006

...cold as a mutha f*cker!

... thought that would get your attention. welcome to freedom 101... I'll be your host for as long as you'll have me... thoughtfully supplying you w/ wit, ramblings & anything else I find the need to purge. Buckle up bitches! ;L)
I'm in Council Bluff, IA... 4 degrees and cold as a mutha f*cker! I'll be home for a total of 9 hrs tomorrow. Long enough to throw some laundry in and make a nice indention on my couch. I plan to spend the day in front of the 'ol picture box... I'm anxious for the time off. well at least the few hours.
the band has a writing/rehearsal at 5. Gotta get some of these new joints in the can. I'm bursting at the seams to start the new record. All in good time... first the holidays...
full of airports, family, awkward dinner gatherings and the empty-ing of one's said financial nest. JOY TO THE WORLD!
I'm actually looking forward to this year's festivities. This will mark my first time home in over 2 years... a fact my Mother never fails to remind me of. We decided to descend upon my sister and her moderately enthusiastic husband for a period of 10 days... a detail she may soon come to regret. I love her. She is an amazing women who tends to keep us all strung together in some magical-Italian-I'll beat your ass if you don't knock it off- he's trying this year-just keep you mouth shut-big sister kind of way. The "he's trying this year" remark refers to my ever neurotic Father who often likes to spark debate over things not meant to be discussed at "once a year" functions. The price we pay for a family Christmas... gotta love the expected... even when in some (most) cases it guarantees a grand debate w/ Papa P. He's harmless... a great man w/ even greater ideas... most of which are lost on the intellect of today. There should be more Papa P's... people who believe in something so much they risk their very family to secure it's foundation. I may not always agree... but there is something to be said for such a man.
... where that little detour came from... one may never know. All that to say... Christmas is never dull around our house. Stay tuned...

welcome to me

... well here I am. Kesler Bleu... here for no other reason than self therapy. No censor... no worry of hurting things that are connected. Just an attempt at my truth. I live in a southern town, have a band and travel the field for a living. One large escape into the non-reality that consumes most in my line of work... but for the most part I consider myself a well adjusted twenty something... living an extra ordinary life. A life full of travel and the opportunity to crash into someone new on a daily basis.
I am in the early stages of a career that is relentless, exhausting, unsure, short-lived and down right frustrating... but I love it. I breathe it... am consumed and consume it as much as I'm allowed. I live to push the buttons of the comfortable... to talk of things that make the cushioned pew a bit harder... that bring sweat to the back of most necks... this is me.
... most parts insecure, all parts fiercely determined. I hope you will come along for the ride.

KS